skullblog is the work of kalavinka, a californian with roots on both sides of the pacific. see more.
June 2010
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skull Recent Comments
» no longer single (1)
Olive Bleu wrote: You are my exception...... [more]
» the year of getting dumped (2)
kalavinka wrote: it's all good, babe, don't worry... [more]
» entre dos tierras (1)
Olive wrote: Babe, your update is hilarious!... [more]
» there wasn’t anything you could have done differently (3)
Olive Bleu wrote: Yum! mojo potatoes... [more]
» operation get her back: fail (1)
Betsy wrote: Chica, i've been reading your blog ... [more]
» no más lágrimas (1)
Anna wrote: Hey, I just wanted to say kudos for... [more]
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thinking: philosophical musings, complex daydreams, political rants.

things i've learned from dating a mexican

here's a humorous entry i had started working on months ago. i kept the notes in my phone but never posted it. why? i don't know. maybe i felt like it was just a draft. so here it goes! things... [more]

the women in my family are stupid...

...and i vow not to be one of the stupid ones. i learned something today that was a bit jarring. i'm not going into any detail as it's a highly personal matter. but i'm just looking at the surface and... [more]

is kissing cheating?

after watching season 5 of "the l word", my friend and i had a very interesting conversation on what constitutes cheating. you see, in one of the episodes the characters are all gathered around a fire and one of them... [more]

my second quinceañera

tonight i attended my second quinceañera and again i was working it. this time it was a much smaller scale affair and i was the "photographer", probably because i'm the only one with a manual camera, will do it for... [more]

one less grandparent

my mom called me. her mom died. she's flying back to japan for a couple weeks. another grandparent gone this year. i only have one left. this is getting weird. i can't imagine life without grandparents. that would mean that... [more]

i have no friends

so friday wasn't a good day for me. i broke down crying because i thought that "i have no friends", at least no one in my area to hang out with and no one at work to have lunch with.... [more]

la soledad para siempre

i was going to post something along these lines a couple days ago but now i think it's completely true. in the past year or so i've noticed that all my friends (with the exception of perhaps one) have done... [more]

uncontacted tribes

the bbc reported that an isolated tribe was spotted in brazil. the anthropologist in me finds this truly fascinating. it's amazing that there are any uncontacted tribes left in this world. to find evidence of their existence arouses great curiosity... [more]

what it feels like for a girl

yesterday it was so hot that i wore a dress to work. not too heavy, not too light, but airy enough to keep me cool. i don't usually wear a dress so i expect people to make a big deal... [more]

how many countries do you know?

when i was about 10 years old, the teacher gave us a timed quiz where we had to write down as many states as possible. then we did the same thing but instead wrote down countries. i didn't win for... [more]

gotta get some pride

i figured that if i'm gonna work at ucla, then i got to get some ucla pride. today i've been reading about the history of ucla, the department i've been working in, and the uc system in general. naturally i... [more]

2008 presidential candidates

some people have already started talking about the 2008 presidential candidates but i haven't paid any attention to it. i say already because it's not election time. what's different this time though is that the campaigning is starting earlier. so... [more]

never enough time in the day

i thought that being laid off would allow me time to work on projects, visit relatives, or catch up on reading but i'm finding that not to be the case at all. i'm spending a lot of time searching for... [more]

i just don't know what to do with myself

right after i found out i was laid off, i went looking for a job. i even found one that was good but the deadline had just passed and since it as close by i rushed over to ask how... [more]

everyone has a photographic memory but...

...but some don't have memory cards. i updated that one a bit but check out some other funny sayings. you should at least get a chuckle out of it.... [more]

shinseki kara mail...

...or mail from relatives. today i got an email from brasil and a letter from okinawa. fu fu fu...i feel special. suddenly it just came into my head that last year in japan we ran into distant relatives from brasil.... [more]

chodee without borders

there's a small group of us in "chodee without borders" (sort of like "brotherhood without borders") and we've been busy lately planning our activities. most of us live in the same county but it's hard to get together so most... [more]

sister knows best

there's a topic that i've discussed with my friends before but recently it's come up again and each time it was the friend who brought it up and i wasn't trying to steer the conversation in that direction but nonetheless,... [more]

carter the unstoppable sex machine

today i read a very interesting interview with jimmy carter. i don't know much about him or his term, other than i think america thought he was weak. he was president when i was a baby through to shortly after... [more]

what makes a friend a friend?

i'm not sure if there's a magic formula for creating friendships or friendships that last. obviously there is communication, trust, likeability, commonalities, etc. but what makes a friend in the first place? how do you go from acquaintance to friend?... [more]

the more time i spend with kids...

...the more i realize how i would do things differently if i had kids. spending time with some kids today though i finally realized how frustrated my mom must have been with my picky eating as kid. (though i'm sure... [more]

a land of immigrants

a read a good post on a couple of blogs about various issues but at the time i didn't feel like commenting on it on my blog. what more can i add to it? they were so eloquently written. especially... [more]

friday the 13th

it's funny how as a kid you make such a big deal out of friday the 13th. it can be scary or cool, depending on what kind of person you are. then as an adult it's no big deal at... [more]

kids don't know they're ugly

i was in line at a grocery store, right behind a lady with her kid. the lady didn't seem to be paying attention to her kid. the kid was perhaps 1 years old. he just stared at me the way... [more]

courtney love dream last night

here's my courtney love dream from last night. usually my dreams start off like i'm watching a movie and then it zooms in so that i'm a part of the scene. i go from voyeur to actor. this dream is... [more]

i blog therefore i am

lately not only have i been thinking about blogs (this one and others i would like to start), but i've been reading about them as well. i've been reading about what makes a good blog and stuff like that. mainly,... [more]

what do you want to be when you grow up?

i was never really sure what i wanted to be when i grew up. i never passionately want to be something that's why i've never pursued any career. i'm still trying to figure out what it could be. just being... [more]

news you can't use

today i saw many news pieces on tv that i could write about. i've always been hesitant to comment on current events on this blog, especially if i just come across some new story. perhaps it seems sensational to react... [more]

brainbloodvolume

sometimes i don't know why certain memories linger. it's not like there was anything significant about it but sometimes you just have these stupid memories you can't get rid of. or in my case maybe i did do something a... [more]

all about photography

today i am all about photography! i've spent the morning reading about digital cameras that function more like the old days, you know, let you focus and tweek the settings! in particular i have been reading about the canon rebel... [more]

where are my friends?

sometimes when i don't hear from friends in awhile, i worry. i know we all get busy. sometimes i ignore people too, even my friends, because i just need to be holed up alone and can't deal with talking to... [more]

what do you smell like?

...and what do people think of when they smell you? it's really odd to talk about perhaps but just think about it for a bit. when i was little, i would smell my arm and think it smells like peanut... [more]

earth issues awareness

i'm sitting on the couch, surfing the internet with the tv running in the background. a waste, i know. but a program is being shown for earth day with ideas to reduce/reuse/recycle in order to help out the earth. so... [more]

in a japanese mood

lately i'm in a japanese mood. i've been working on redoing my buck-tick site for a long time now but lately i've watching buck-tick interviews on youtube and writing it out in japanese, then translating it into english. i've also... [more]

then she did

my mom has been thinking about visiting japan because she feels like the end is near soon for her mother. although since she isn't literally on her death bed, to guess when she is going to die is incredibly difficult.... [more]

mandatory conscription for american youth

sometimes i wonder what kind of country would we be if our military was not voluntary... or what if our youth, all of our youth had to serve in some sort of volunteering. whether it's the military, coast guard, police,... [more]

early start of dst

today is the early start of daylight savings time and i must say this is gonna fuck me over. just when i get used to my sleeping pattern, even 1 hour difference will affect it. this next week at work... [more]

in search of a better life

why are americans shocked when americans move away? i just feel like they are. that's my hypotehsis. whenever americans talk about moving to another country and stuff, it seems like you can hear a gasp, like it's an insult to... [more]

age complex

in school, most of my friends were born 1 year before me. so why is that after all these years, they still think i'm 2 years younger than they are? we were only 1 grade apart. it's not like any... [more]

the 5 senses

i used to think that if i had to lose any of my senses, i would pick to smell or to taste. it would be very hard for me to chose between sight and sound since i absolutely love art... [more]

the people of the book

after work i swung by my mom's house to pickup some mail and she had the tv on a japanese station as usual. i watched tv, hisashiburi! i was thinking of leaving but it was an interesting program so i... [more]

"darling am i getting old?"

so starts the song "age" by x-ray spex. you know you're old when you start thinking about getting old and look in the mirror for signs of aging. by that logic then it means that i'm old. i first realized... [more]

holiday madness or this was my life

we had been doing a toy drive for charity at work and today i had to drop off the donations. the charity is based in hollywood so i figured i would stop by a couple of our locations while i... [more]

what, am i some sort of comedian to you?

yesterday morning as i was taking a shower, i came up with a stand up routine. it just flowed. but i didn't try to write it down until night time. i thought it'd be cool to flesh it out and... [more]

sick of being poor

i'm sick of being poor! just so tired of not being able to go places or do things for lack of funds. so lately i've been toying with the idea of returning to school to enter a field where $$$... [more]

have you ever...

have you ever tried to spend a whole weekend at home, indoors, not leaving the house for anything? not even to check the mail? not even to answer the door for food deliveries? i have. have you ever spent a... [more]

movie deficient

i haven't watched movies from netflix in what seems like forever. as we were getting ready to go to japan, we didn't watch much. after returning from japan, we finished a disc we had started. then we moved and have... [more]

got buddha?

this morning i went with twiddle thumbs to visit an old friend of her family's. they were talking about buddhism and going to temples as twiddle thumbs is seriously considering buddhism after the trip to japan. the friend asked if... [more]

quoting a food package

i'm not sure what to write about today so let me quote a food package from the alternative baking company of sacramento. did you know? "pesticide residue found in meat is 14 times greater than in plant foods, whereas dairy... [more]

it's official, i have no gaydar

i just found out that my old boss is gay and some other people too. she even just married her girlfriend in vegas. (is that why i was hired? hahahaa) man, i had no idea...i have no gaydar! i guess... [more]

i'd love you more if...

1. raymond watts (AKA pig) i'd love you more if i were straight. let's face it, if i were a guy, i'd want to be just like raymond watts and i'd be looking for my anna wildsmith. 2. gale harold... [more]

america the melting pot

america has all sorts of people. they come from all regions and are the ingredients. their children mix together and the end result is americans. that's corny but hey, it's just a blog. the result is a bunch of mixed... [more]

happiness in neutrality

i've been trying to think of things i want to do before i'm 30, or things to do during an indefinite time period as an adult, but i'm drawing blanks. i just can't think right now and don't seem to... [more]

laughter is the best medicine

i love making people laugh. i can't think of anything else that gives me as much satisfaction as people laughing along with me at my jokes. especially people i know. especially when they laugh so hard that they lose control... [more]

we'll make great pets

whereas most people come up with possible names for their children, twiddle thumbs and i come up with possible names for our pets! we loved the dog flaik in "umberto d" so we decided we should get a small dog... [more]

rock band personality theory

i have a musician personality theory. ok, it's more like a rock band personality theory. while one could probably peg these personalities onto musicians from viewing a couple music videos, over the years i've noted that this theory holds generally... [more]

love is suicide?

you listen to the smashing pumpkins and you end up with blog entry titles like that! at least it matches my mood today. my teenage perception of things is creeping up on me. i had, and still do, this notion... [more]

a place in the country

listening to adam ant sing "all i wanted was a place in the country, but now i realize i wanted so much more", i look back to my own wants from way back when. all i wanted was to see... [more]

i can't get no satisfaction

i left the house to a party all excited because i cut my hair today (after much debate these past few months but it settled down to it was time for a new look) and i was wearing the clothes... [more]

it's never completely quiet in the modern world

you know how when you turn everything off and you try to get to a quiet place, you never really get there because you can hear the electric hum of appliances? that stopped bugging me long ago. what gets me... [more]

everything i know about life i learned from the golden girls

my morning ritual has been fairly consistent. as i eat breakfast, i watch reruns of "the golden girls" on lifetime. (i loved that show as a kid and it still holds up.) after several months of this i have finally... [more]

situation normal

i think i'm over my april depression now. actually, i'm forcing myself to be. i can't do this anymore. a couple years ago i was really happy because i thought i was over this stupid cyclical depression in april crap.... [more]

william, it was really nothing

well, i did it. i accomplished my goal for this week which was to tell my old crushes that i liked them. (see entry "you think you know her".) that's over with now, thank god. i feel really blue though.... [more]

depressao

last night we went out to a club and hung out with a friend we haven't seen in a long time. i thought i'd come home after midnight and blog about that and that would be today's entry. instead i... [more]

you think you know her

sometimes you think you know someone very well, then you have a conversation, learn something new, and realize there's still so much you don't know about the person. it could be trivial things, could be big things, could be secret... [more]

this is your life and it's ending one minute at a time

at the end of this year i'll be 30 and though that number was never a marker nor a concern for me, it coincidentally will be when i plan to start a whole new life. i'm not sure what that'll... [more]

elevator etiquette

when i was in new zealand, i noticed that it was common for people to start to get on the elevator before people got off of the elevator. same with the bus. i thought it was proper etiquette to let... [more]

architecture geek: towers

at the work office we have panorama pictures of a few major american cities. one of them is of seattle. so i was looking at the space needle and started thinking about what towers are out there that look like... [more]

reminiscing friendships

it started on friday when we had dinner with nopalita and continued through to today. talking about memories we have during the course of our friendship and how what someone remembers, another doesn't and vice versa. the first 1-2 years... [more]

has everyone gone crazy for valentine's day?

i'm driving home from work and people the streets are crazy with psycho drivers. it's not safe! i noticed many little booths on the sides of the streets selling goods like they were fireworks stands. teddy bears, balloons, etc. even... [more]

i don't know what happened to my thick skin...

...but i want it back! something stupid is bothering me. i should be asleep but i'm not. i should be asleep so that i can wake up early to prepare for tomorrow's meeting at work. but just before putting away... [more]

scratch a cynic and find a romantic

i'd love to say that this will be the year of not speaking, that from now on i'll take a vow of silence. of that this will be the year of abstinence. earlier i called this the year of not... [more]

should've been a comic

people in high school were always telling me how funny i was and that i should be a stand-up comic. of course, those were the people that got my jokes. those that didn't threw rotten food at me. no, not... [more]

the year of not caring

i've never made resolutions for a new year. i thought about doing it this year. of holing myself in a room over the weekend with a few friends who also felt like they had a ho-hum year and want to... [more]

a disappointing year

i try not to put much in terms of expectations on things and people but this year i did. i thought it would be one of the best in my life. placing expectations on the year as a whole really... [more]

live to blog or blog to live AKA relationships bite

sorry for the crap title but i've realized that i am definitely connected to blogging. it is a part of post-human me. i ponder throughout the day what thoughts/activities should i blog about for the given day. lately, it's been... [more]

i'm an amphibian, you know, slippery fingers

too long have i held onto things tightly (object or person, it's all the same) that when it is time to let go (mature and move on or let said person have space) i do not know how to handle... [more]

as time goes on, the more things stay the same...

...which is to say, fucked up! down and down we go, further spiraling into darkness with no light in sight. you know, all of us have in our minds the good voices and the evil voices. sometimes i don't know... [more]

to apply for a scholarship and live in okinawa for 1 year or not to...

there is a scholarship sponsored by the okinawa government for foreigners of okinawan-descent to study in okinawa at one of three universities. i'm not sure of all the details but it's worth a shot. however, they barely give 2 weeks... [more]

recluse and the infinite melancholy

i have accounts with two of those myspace sort of places (yes, myspace is one of them) for connecting communities and establishing global cyber friendships. there is great potential but i hardly ever utilize them because the reality is that... [more]

things have got to improve

things don't seem so great lately and i'm thinking that things have got to improve. i've never been one for new year's resolutions or set goals and write them down to read X months from now. but now i'm thinking... [more]

no new military bases in okinawa

the basics: america won WWII in 1945 and took over okinawa among other stipulations, such as japan cannot have a formal military and instead will be protected by an american presence. us occupation ended in 1952 but america held... [more]

got paid. paid rent. broke again.

that pretty much summarizes it. almost like living in santa cruz again! rich in broke in a single stroke! the pay day high lasts but a few minutes at best. i should have worked harder and saved up more money... [more]

no warning labels on books

entertainment in america is reviewed and rated. "for our protection". for our protection?! so children don't accidentally see a penis, god forbid. movies have ratings. tv shows have ratings. music has parental warning labels. these denote how much of the... [more]

his name is robert paulsen andrew veal

i thought i was pissed about bush's re-election. but apparently nowhere near as pissed as andrew veal. what's sad is instead of being concerned for andrew and those who loved him, the state of the nation, bush's policies, and so... [more]

meet your meat

at the world vegan day, they had a few food vendors outside and a british peta sort of video running. i was sitting outside trying to enjoy my nice vegan food as the gruesome parts of the video ran. i've... [more]

4 more years...what is the problem with you people?

i've been watching the news for stuff on the presidential election, to see how the results of the votes are coming along...not good. not good at all. it looks like he's gonna steal home base again. well, i have plans... [more]

i voted touchscreen

my registration card i voted today. first time. there's early voting going on in los angeles county and you can go to any one of the open voting polls if you're a resident of los angeles county. the last time... [more]

anyone but bush

while many may feel that the next president should be anyone but bush, it would be nice to elect someone who would undo some of the damage that bush has done. a lot of worthy programs have been cut thanks... [more]

i can finally smile

with the huge burden of earning a BA degree lifted, i am free to smile and be happy. i find it much easier now--in fact, i feel like i'm smiling all the time. with the weight loss and the end... [more]

lofty dreams

late in the summer/early fall, i will apply for a work abroad program in new zealand. if i am rejected, then i thought i could spend about 1 month traveling in the mayan areas of mexico. i really want to... [more]

where has all the time gone...

all the free time that i thought i would have really doesn't seem to exist. i thought i would have finished a lot more projects by now. it's still early in april though. if i crack down on managing my... [more]

libertarian socialist

i took the political compass test. here are my results: economic left/right: -4.12 social libertarian/authoritarian: -4.26 my score is along the lines of gandhi, nelson mandela, and the dalai lama... [more]

new jersey joins in...

...but they leave almost as quickly as they joined. apparently new jersey law doesn't gender specifically dictate what marriage is, just between adults, so a gay couple in asbury park filed for a license last friday. after the appropriate waiting... [more]

99% evil or 99% good?

according to the gematriculator, my full given birth name is 99% evil whereas, "kalavinka" and my site are both 99% good... [more]

i've never been to portland

but portland is cool--they're the latest to join the struggle and issue same sex marriage licenses.... [more]

cheers to new york

cheers to new paltz, new york for their mayor taking a stand against ultra conservatives, performing same-sex marriage ceremonies and issuing certificates. today i came across a piece in the new york times arguing that it is up to conservatives... [more]

i once had a friend from new mexico

san francisco has inspired others not just in verbage but in action. a clerk in sandoval county, new mexico found nothing in the state laws against same-sex marriage, so she began issuing licenses. it's a big hoopla with emergency meetings... [more]

california is a bunch of freaks

that's probably what everyone else thinks because of the same sex marriage stuff. (everyone else being assholes who make jokes about the next earthquake will sink california...buying ocean view property in nevada, etc. fuck those bastards!) all i can say... [more]

money matters

i'm starting to really feel the pressures of the goals i've set for the near future. how i am going to acquire money to move and go to okinawa next year? where exactly in LA will i move to and... [more]

we can keep secrets

thinking about some shit in an email exchange with a friend, i came up with something which reveals a part of me. it was good to think about it, because it helped to form into words things which i feel.... [more]

happy farm

why do people think that you always have to smile in life? i don't understand this. if you do not smile, then others think that not only are you not happy, but that you must be upset or angry &... [more]

marriage

Let two gay men marry?Next thing you know blackswill be drinking from thesame fountains as whites. today i came across this ad from the equal marriage group in canada. i thought it was brilliant. i would buy the t-shirt if... [more]

walking through syrup

i feel like things associated with money take too long to come into fruition. i've been looking forward to finishing school and moving out of this town so that i can start saving some money and get a hold of... [more]

nothing touches me

lately i don't feel a passion for the things i used to feel a passion for. this could be a side effect of my effort to care less about material objects so that i may sell them and condense my... [more]

sorting things out

this is going to be very rambling and perhaps not make sense but i want to be a ____ person. i think about ways to better myself. to improve aspects. i try to see things to improve, and i try... [more]

i could sleep for 1000 years

sleep is wasting 1/3 of your life. humans should sleep for 8 hours per day but 1 day has only 24 hours. if we adhere to 8 hours, we are wasting 1/3 of our life. think of all that could... [more]

one day...

...i am going to try bungee jumping. i've been wanting to give it a try ever since i first heard about it. i want to jump off a bridge over a river and have every part of my body leave... [more]

letting go of shit

it's taken awhile but i think i'm finally ready to give up a lot of my material things so that way my life can fit into just a couple boxes which i can throw into storage while i travel, instead... [more]

how can you expect things to change in your life

if you don't change? i'm working on it.... [more]