there's some video tapes i want a copy of, mostly things i recorded for my podcast which has been in a coma, much like all of my sites. i've been asking for them to be converted to dvd and that i'd pay for it, but it never got done. this was one of my excuses for not working on my podcast, that i was set on releasing video instead of just audio and i was delayed on the video. i'll take any excuse at this point i think not to work on the podcast, hahaha.

finally, we agreed that it'd just be better if i did it. it was suggested that i meet my ex- at her work but honestly, i hate dealing with traffic once i'm done with work and "home" so i suggested more of a halfway point instead. as a test of extending friendship, i said we could even catch some dinner. she wasn't sure, would have to get back to me on it. finally, when the time camee, she told me to meet her at this restaurant so i did.

we ate, we chatted, it was friendly and not weird. what was weird though was the nuances of the conversation. there were a couple of times when she didn't understand what i was saying or missed it. so i had to repeat myself. it's not like i'm difficult to understand. we have very similar accents and speech patterns from being the same age and growing up in the same county. however, could it be that not seeing each other on a regular basis has made it difficult for our ears to understand each other? i had no issues. i just realized that with these mishearings, it means that we can't even understand each other talk. it gave me a sense that we don't have to be friends, well not only that, but that we can't be friends, and that it's ok. i can smile and walk away ok with all of this. like it's a goodbye without saying goodbye. kinda nice actually.