wow. last night was so awkward. and the drama...wow.

last night was supposed to be an evening of party, friends, and fun. i wanted many friends to come out and just celebrate that it was my last day of the job and that on monday i start my new job. only, people started dropping like flies. i knew some couldn't go but this was ridiculous. it was me, the ex-, a friend of ours, the girl i'm seeing and her friends. yeah, awkward. i was hoping there'd be enough friends that my ex- would be occupied with that (and talking to the club worker she likes) and so we could have subgroups and everything would be cool. no, that's not how it went at all. it started with me giving both girls a ride to the club. it was tense. seriously. i almost didn't even go to the club. i almost called it all off because it was too much. but my ex- promised to be good and the girl i'm seeing said it would be ok.

then later at the club when the night was young we were all dancing together. i just couldn't get into it. now some guys out there might think it's really hot to dance with your ex- and your current girl but let me tell you it's fucking awful. it's not hot at all. there is no love or lust, only awkward tension. it's horrible to be stuck between two worlds. i want to have a good time with the person i'm seeing but there's such history with the ex- that you want to be sure they're ok. you just want everyone to be ok but it can't be so. at one point in the evening, my ex- saw me kiss the girl i'm dating and totally flipped out on me, declared she was leaving, was gonna get a ride somehow, just needed her stuff from my car. i asked her to please not do that, that i could take her home. she then proceeded to get plastered and later we had this same conversation about getting her stuff or giving her a ride. she wouldn't make up her mind and it was killing me because the girl i'm seeing was starting to leave with her friends. i couldn't let her leave like that but i can't leave my ex- all fucked up like this either. agonizing.

to add to this drama, the girl i'm seeing was also going through ex- drama via text message in addition to the club worker told my ex- that he can't be talking to her anymore while he's on the job. eventually, i let her stay and he took her home while i took home the girl i'm seeing. first we had to get her stuff from my car and she brought both of us a rose to apologize for her behavior. when we got back to the girl's place, she put the rose from my ex- in the vase with the rose i gave her. talk about weird. later i found out that the club worker dumped my ex- because he just doesn't have time for her right now and he could see how jealous she was over me and told her that she needs to figure out shit.

i'm sure anyone else could've seen the impending disaster a mile away but i did not. it's just another lesson i have learned this year.

[update: 10/2009: i have been told there is a factual error in my telling of this tale but i think it flows better this way, i like the images painted and how one might interpret that.]