finally, for the first time in my adult life, i'm going camping on my own. not completely on my own but one where i'm organizing it. i went camping in new zealand but that was part of a kayaking trip that i paid for where someone led us and cooked for us. since we bought some gear that can be used for camping in those months in new zealand, i said that when we returned to california we must go camping. we've been buying the equipment but we never went. we're going tomorrow. i'm so excited. but i can't go on this trip with my head and heart all fucked up. i promised not to talk about relationships during the camping trip. so i just processed so many things. i just did a lot of thinking and healing. sure i was upset about things but i can't let it get to me anymore. it will still bother me and sting to a degree but i won't let it get the best of me. i am not the psycho ex-. i am not the crazy lesbian. no! i refuse! i'm just broken-hearted and disappointed. i won't be disillusioned. i'm actually in a really good place now. i feel good about things. watch out woods, i just might roar. hahahaaaaaa