ok, so it wasn't a holiday weekend but i still went out three nights in a row and almost to the same places but just slightly different.

thursday: the ex- and i were gonna meet our new friends at panty raid but they couldn't come so it was just us. danced and had fun. it's not as crowded on thursday so you can enjoy the room on the dance floor. fridays is really packed. this night was special with some pole dancers and they were good in the artistic cirque du soleil way, not in the dirty strip club kind of way one might imagine, though there were some sensual moves. it was amazing to see the pure muscle in action and some of their maneuvers. at one some girl dancing next to us told the guy she was with that we were cute, as in we made a cute couple. that made me feel good but damn, why have people said that after we broke up? and it's worse that the ex- shows no interest in such comments. 'cos yeah, she's the one who broke up with me so why would she want to hear that kind of shit.

friday: yep, it was packed as usual at truck stop. this time we went with a friend whom we took out for a belated birthday dinner. good food and good times, for the most part. a friend had said to me before that i would look really good in the reddest lipstick on earth and so i borrowed some what i called fuck me red lipstick. perhaps it wasn't the reddest in the world but it was much more red than i would normally dare to wear and yeah, it wasn't bad. after the club, i wanted to be my trying to relive childhood idiot self. there's some monkey bars in the neighborhood and i tried to do a trick i used to do as a kid, of swinging on them from my legs then jumping in a dismount. the last time i tried this was when i was 18 or so and did it with success. my first try was not successful but i didn't lose face. i felt like i was swinging too high so i dismounted too low and didn't have enough height for the landing. on my second try i nailed it, though it wasn't a perfect 10 landing, i would like to think it was still somewhat graceful and impressed my friends. of course i'm paying for it now with bruises behind my knees. the ratio of fat to muscle is just not in my favor anymore. so, no pole dancing for me. hahahahaaa

saturday: that fuck me red lipstick is stayput lipstick. it was almost entirely still there so i just reapplied a bit to freshen it up and off we went to latin girl bar. i'm not a fan of regular girl bar, which is why i go to truck stop instead. but i thought latin night could be fun. i only went once or twice before and it was blah but that was awhile back. you know what? it was fun. not crazy fun but pretty good. enough to make me want to go back. the night started off by befriending someone from out of town enough to show them where the club was, have them spank my ass, then dance a bit. really, it sounds far more exciting than what it really was. the true excitement of the evening was one of the extremely hot go-go dancers. my god... i've never given a dancer money before but this girl was just too beautiful. seriously. i busted out a fiver, hoping to get a little more special treatment than all the girls waving ones. but then i saw she already had a five dollar bill on her so i wasn't the first sucker to bust out something besides a one. i got a kiss on the cheek, which is exactly what the people with ones got so it wasn't so special. but damn she smelled good. my ex- was too shy. i gave her a dollar and made her do the same and she got kissed as well. we started to wonder if her tits were fake. maybe not but for the first time i didn't care. i busted out a couple ones so i could check but i didn't get to place the ones where i wanted to. that's ok. i got another kiss. did i mention she smelled good? it probably wasn't vegan products and normally non-vegan shampoos make me icky but this girl was hypnotizing. i don't care if she's ugly without her makeup or if she's straight or anything like that. i can see how straight guys lose all their money at strip clubs. that dancer was beautiful for me at that moment and made me smile and even get shy when she approached me though i should've indulged in the moment like the others. even if i had to pay, i can say a beautiful girl kissed me and it gave me enough good feelings and confidence that i feel like i can forget about the ex- and the drama, work on myself, and find a good and beautiful woman. maybe not as beautiful as her but damn it, i can try! too bad i don't even know her name. that's ok, makes it kind of mysterious. also, i had quite a bit of alcohol given that i don't really drink and i was concerned that i didn't even feel it. i swear i was not some drunk girl ogling the dancer. that may have even before i had the bulk of my drinks for the evening. and i still find latin dance tiring.