the progress i thought i made last week is lost. maybe i go through 5 good days and then 2 bad days. i don't know. all i know is that just when i think things are good, they become bad. i've been a procrastinator because things have been hard for me, hard to let go, it's true but what can i do? i am overcome. i keep pushing back my deadlines. being here only causes me pain. but know this, i'm not as dumb as you think. i may cling to a dream but i know the reality of what is going on and i shall be the fool no more.

"heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned
nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."
- the mourning bride by william congreve