last night my ex- finally took me to the club that is the hub of her new world. the place where she's gone out to dance for months and made several friends and where she met him and thus also the site of some incidents of drama. hence, i wanted to look good. more than good. different than usual. i wore an outfit i've been putting together but have not yet worn. this shirt i like that reminds me of argentina somehow and a skirt. it needed killer heels and i don't wear heels. that meant that before i went out, i was trying on heels. the one store i went to didn't have much choice so i bought what they had. i was actually able to dance in them which is amazing but it is mostly due to the type of heel. if it was the traditional skinny kind i would have broken both legs. but it was just like wearing platforms so i was fine. with that shirt, i was thinking my hair up and off my face, kind of messy in back like karen walker's character from the tv show "will & grace". (hours later when i was home and took down my hair, it was really big. i looked so different. the only word to describe it that comes to mind is "greek". i have got to try that again to take photographic evidence.)

she was introducing me to people at first but then she stopped. we were dancing and some guy came by for a hug hello but no introduction. later we were hanging out by the tables and he was near so i asked her, "who's the little dude?" she looked kinda ticked off and embarrassed. she replied that it was him. i didn't believe her. i started to laugh. there's no way that's him. he looks nothing like his myspace photos. so short and ugly, an imp, hispanic gollum. and dark. she's not into dark guys and he's definitely on the darker side. nothing i can tell about his looks is her type, wtf?!?! and so i laughed. and cracked jokes. and couldn't stop. she was getting mad and hurt. so i tried to calm down. i'm sorry but it's just a bit of a shock and relief at the same time. i was dancing and laughing to myself that she has set me free to have weho and all the babes there while she's out in the inland empire with little imps, hahahahahaaa.

later on a gross sweaty guy was dancing with me. later in the evening he grabbed me to dance again. there was no escape. he was the blob. the first time we danced, he did all the single person small talk but he forgot to ask the vital question i don't think any straight guy bothers to ask, they just assume. he never asked if i was even interested! the next time we danced, he said he liked my heels (hey, they worked). and he said he knows i'm into him, etc. such crap. i said no i'm not but i was too polite because he didn't leave right away. he was too close to me. i told him i was uncomfortable. he just thought i was shy. i told him he'd have better luck asking some other girl. he didn't get it. finally i told him i'm gay and he looked at the floor in disbelief, "no!" believe it buddy. i was making eyes to my ex- to save me but she didn't get it. finally she came up to me and said we don't have to leave just yet, (earlier she wanted to leave immediately), and that's when i said kind of loud, "so how many minutes?" and she finally got it and stepped in. he was asking if she's my sister, hahahaa. he was in disbelief again when i said it's my ex. it wasn't much longer until the guy left, broken-hearted i guess, i don't know wtf, but he had to kiss me before he left. thank god it wasn't on the lips. that would just be eeewwww. anyway, there was more drama but that's kind of personal. *sigh* you know, it just makes me realize how much i love this dyke club i've been to only a couple times. the crowd is diverse, the music isn't so bad, and no one makes me uncomfortable there, even if you do wonder about some people there.

today, my ex- came out to her mom. that's like a miracle in itself. i'd believe a lot of things first before i ever thought that would happen. is this really the same person? this is just so fucking amazing. i never forced her to do this. this was never a condition. but once she broke up with me, it became a criteria for all future people i date and i have to hold her to those standards since i'm not going backwards and so it became a condition for reconciliation. i won't reconcile for real until certain things happen and that's one of them. she has some items for me as well that i've been working on since the day after she broke up with me. i'm not saying we're together (even if we never totally separated) but foundations are being made. what a weekend!