who celebrates their anniversary with their ex? only odd me. last night marked 14 years and i couldn't let that go by unnoticed. so i solicited her for date #2 tonight. of course, one should bring flowers but since this isn't an ordinary day, i brought roses. 2 dozen long stem, very nice if i do say so myself. today though we had a guest with us. as my brother is back in town, he joined us. so that made it a little awkward. we had dinner then walked by the beach. it was nice even if there was a cockroach there trying to join us as well.

and then we went home and talked. i couldn't help it. i really had to get it off my chest. i feel some guilt. i was really in a bad mood last year for months on end due to what was happening politically and how that affected us as a couple. i felt like that foul mood caused me to drive her away and i didn't even realize it at the time. i had to explain how low i was feeling, how hurt and upset, and for how long, to just show this. it was really hard for me to articulate everything though i can go on and on in a conversation. and everything i said was genuine and painful. she was sorry too. we went on like this for a couple hours. i think we understand more each other's pain. i think it was very helpful to us.