this election has taught me who among the people i know are closeted racists and homophobes. i don't know how everyone voted and i'm kind of afraid to know how my close friends and family voted. but i feel quite strongly about a few things and if we disagree on those points then this might be the last straw. i might never speak to you again. or at least keep it to a cold minimum. i'm quite serious about that.

obama won. mclame lost. that's what's important. but that's not all that it's important. with the presidency choice, we may become united. with some proposition choices, we may become divided. argh! first let me comment on the presidency before i really start to rant. based on policies, i'm glad over who won. based on ethnic composition, i'm even gladder over who won. look people, this was a historical necessity. we will finally have a non-white person in the white house. (maybe we should change it to off-white house?) next we need a non-male as president. we need a woman. we need an asian. hey, how about this, for the next election, just write my name in. that will kill two birds with one stone. or just vote for margaret cho. she's more famous.

speaking of killing birds, all of you motherfuckers who voted for the gay marriage ban, you just killed me. therefore, you are dead to me. i'm serious. if you voted against gay marriage, then i frankly have nothing to say to you, ever. sure i could try to be some sort of ambassador or teacher. i could try to guide you to the light that we are all just human. that this was about civil rights. that we all deserve the same respect and treatment. but no, you assholes don't want that. you want to "protect traditional marriage". fine. i will draft a bill to ban divorce. surely divorce is the greatest threat to traditional marriage. i expect all of you who voted to ban gay marriage to also ban divorce. but hey, what is traditional marriage anyway? isn't modern marriage about marrying the person you love? isn't traditional marriage an arranged marriage by parents and politicians for money and power and heirs and all that? so all of you who married the person you love because you chose to date them on your own, well you should get a divorce and get married to someone to elevate your family's status, heal wounds between countries, or that person your parents' picked for you that you couldn't stand. you know, the 13 year old girl who just got her period so they marry her off to the prosperous 57 year old in the village. that is traditional marriage. go run to it and embrace it.

if you voted to ban gay marriage because you are afraid that schools will teach homosexuality in schools and somehow that will make your kids gay, get real. your kids are already gay. you are gay. no really. think about it. isn't being gay a recessive gene? if it's in the genes then you can't control it, at least not yet. if you think your kid will become gay because it is taught in schools or if they meet gay people, that it's environment, then you are sorely mistaken. do you think gay people have gay kids and that's how the world has gays? gays are raised by straight people in traditional marriages in traditional families. it didn't influence the children to be straight now did it? and yes gay people do have straight children too. argh! i'm just so frustrated right now i find it difficult to articulate my thoughts. and yet, i'll go on.

to those that think if a state has domestic partnerships and that it's the same as marriage, so why bicker about semantics, i am here to tell you that you are dead wrong. it is not the same thing. it's not just about "separate but equal", which is horseshit. it is that with marriage comes federal rights for couples. with domestic partnerships comes only some state rights. federal rights means that when you are in another state, you are still married. to all you straight married couples, let me put it to you like this. imagine you go on your honeymoon or vacation or visit relatives in another state. when you cross that state line, you are no longer married! if you get in a car accident or some tragedy, you can't visit your spouse in the hospital if it's family only because you're not family in that other state. you cannot make decisions. you cannot receive benefits. it's also about respect. your rights are not being respected in the other states. your relationship is not being respected. you are not being respected.

i have just been stabbed and not with a knife in the heart but with a sword to my abdomen, hari kiri style. obama won but we lost. the international world won with obama. but we american citizens lost with the gay marriage bans that passed in california (proposition 8), florida (amendment 2), and arizona (proposition 102). also let's not forget other anti-gay things in the election such as: arkansas ban on gay couples adopting children (initiative 1). don't think that just because you don't live in these states that it doesn't affect you. if your state hasn't banned gay marriage yet, they will. obama didn't have the balls to be on the pro-gay platform. he wouldn't have won if he had been and that's sad. if you were a hillary fan, she didn't have the balls either. that's why in the beginning i wasn't a fan of either candidate. that's why i didn't vote for either in the general election. both seemed way too conservative for me. they were practically republican. but i knew that we needed someone like that if there was to be change, if there was to be a successful kicking out of republicans in the white house. but still, i can't be happy at the results. i can't make compromises and say "well at least obama won". while many were crying out of joy that obama won, i went to bed crying that prop 8 won.

what's more upsetting is that right now i live in the county that i was born and raised in. and that county is a major county in the state and the nation. it is quite populous. it has a famous gay section and throughout the county there is more than one gay section. still, that county's majority voted for the gay marriage ban. i am ashamed. i have been spit upon. i am outraged. if you look at the map at how california voted, the ones close to water seem to have cleaner air and could think clearly and logically. those inland must have swollen brains from the heat and dusty air.

this election proves my point that los angeles is homophobic. i have said it before and i'll say it again. even though we have west hollywood, which is so fucking gay, this county is homophobic. it is so homophobic in fact that in the past i have said "i don't know how anyone gay can live in LA." if you look at the state map on prop 8, the san francisco bay area is the place to be. santa cruz county voted the way i did. why did i ever leave? oh yeah, 'cos i have weird rules that i live by so that i keep an open mind and don't get stuck anywhere. that i can keep moving on and learn except that i first had to return to my roots to draw up my game plan. i don't have a game plan yet but like the obama camp i must now busily work away at all the things that need to be done. i can't live here, that's for certain. i should move back towards the san francisco bay area although i don't know if that's the right thing for me to do. going back to the comfortable sounds relaxing because i'm exhausted in some ways, but it's not bringing on anything new and expanding my mind.

you know, now i really wish my dad was alive so that i could talk to him about this, even if he disagreed with me. that would be the one viewpoint i wouldn't mind getting exhausted over to change. and then he could go on to help convince all the catholics and christians out there that campaigned to vote yes on prop 8, that perhaps they shouldn't be so quick to ban things, that perhaps they should take down those yes on 8 signs from their lawns, that perhaps it's ok to let others marry. afterall, if you're against same-sex marriage then don't marry someone of the same sex. it's that simple. plus, what about separation of church and state? therefore you can't use church arguments with state laws as long as everyone has freedom to be who they are and practice their beliefs in their own way. if you are going to force upon me who i can and cannot marry, then i am going to do the same to you. i will try to ban your religion, pure and simple. i will try to overturn your citizenship. etc! because this country is about respecting the individual's freedom and clearly you do not respect it.

if you are really threatened by same sex marriage over traditional marriage, let me introduce the latest threat to traditional marriage: me. i'm gonna go and wreck your home. that is my payback. i will sleep with the husband, the wife, the legal age children, whatever it takes. (i don't know how sarcastic i am being over this.) oh, and i hope your children are all gay and kill themselves because you hate them and that you feel immense pain when they come out or kill themselves. and from the wise revengeful words of "the golden girls": "may your marinara sauce never stick to your pasta!"

all of the counties in california that voted no on prop 8 also voted yes for obama. these are the counties i could live in: santa barbara, monterey, santa cruz, san mateo, santa clara, alameda, contra costa, san francisco, marin, sonoma, napa, yolo, mendocino, humboldt, alpine, mono.

below are some maps that prove california isn't all crazy hippie gay liberals. in fact, people would probably be surprised at how many republicans and rednecks we have--but seriously, you're surprised when we have a republican governor and sent reagan to the white house? (we are a huge agricultural state too! not all big cities and gay bars) these maps are from the california secretary of state website.