that is what i kept screaming as my car hydroplaned on the freeway, nearly missing an accident or possible pileup. i've always been a cautious driver when it rains, or at least i thought i was. i know that with the recent rains i haven't been slowing down like i should and this was a reality check. i was in the lane to head onto the freeway interchange and the cars in front of me started breaking hard. i had to react so quick that i didn't have time to think. there was quite a bit of distance between me and the car ahead but in the rain i knew it was not enough. i braked and nothing happened. desperately i braked harder and nothing. i tried to change lanes and nothing. my foot was to the floor and my wheel was turned all the way and we continued to drive forward. i wasn't freaking out other than screaming "oh my god!" over and over. mentally i knew this was it. i'm going to crash. i don't have the money for this. i just bought groceries to cook dinner and i'm starving. i don't want to wait for hours in the rain waiting for the cops and how in the world am i going to pay for all this.

then a miracle happened. god must have reached out and stopped the car knowing how financially devastated i would be. the car was naturally slowing down and i dunno at what point the hydroplaning stopped enough for the brakes to work or if we naturally slowed down all the way but we didn't crash! then the hydroplaning ended altogether and since my wheel was still turned all the way (not towards traffic), the car headed sharply for the side of the freeway, which i quickly corrected so that we stayed in our lane, though the car behind me probably thought i was insane because it almost looked like i was heading to exit using an on-ramp.

despite the near miss that happened tonight, and the screaming, i was incredibly calm physically. my heart was not racing. my chest was not in a panic. i was not pumped full of adrenaline. that perhaps is another wonder, that i was able to transfer the panic energy that most would experience through screaming. maybe i screamed so hard the tires slowed down. ;)