my mom has been thinking about visiting japan because she feels like the end is near soon for her mother. although since she isn't literally on her death bed, to guess when she is going to die is incredibly difficult. they've been saying the end is near for the past 10 years i think! anyway, so she wants to go for a couple months to be there for the end and funeral and stuff. but the thing is, she could be there for a couple years with nothing happening. the other thing my mom is talking about is selling her house and moving back to japan for a couple years. my mom started doing this talk a couple weeks back and the talks went from visiting to moving very quickly. i was kinda too surprised and in the thick of it then to really digest, comprehend, and speak about it. just kinda walking in a stupor. plus april is always my melancholy month. i figured one of my entries would be some rambling on the emotions and thoughts i'm going through. now my mom's move doesn't seem so immediate. now she's talking more like when obaachan dies, she will go back and maybe in a year she will move back to japan for a bit. anyway, we'll see how this goes. i too would like to live in japan again but the thing is, where our family is from is very difficult to live well. i mean, it's just the poorest place in japan, not much hope for a job. but then again, you'd have support of family and the american presence is so huge there that perhaps you could do something cross-culturally. again, so much big stuff to ponder that it's too much for me now. i'm still in the first stage of reducing my music collection!