last week at the meeting at work, when i ordered food for everyone i ordered a little something for myself as well. this is acceptable. i have gotten lunches before. it's just that i usually bring something since it's hard to be a vegan when you're surrounded by junk food. once when i ordered pizza for everyone i ordered a salad for myself. the pizza man gave me a fucking pre-washed bag of lettuce. you know those instant salad bags. it came with ranch dressing. i fucking sat there and ate the leaves of lettuce one by one without any dressing. it was one of the saddest meals i have ever had. lately we've been ordering sandwiches from togo's and the only thing i can have is the hummus sandwich. i am so fucking sick of that "hummus" (you really can't call togo's slop hummus proper, yeah i'm a fucking hummus connoisseur) that it's been a couple months at least since i've had it. i didn't bring anything and promised i'd stop eating the crap semi-vegan junk food that i've been eating lately so i ordered a hummus sandwich for moi.

when i went to pick up the food, they were just finishing up our order. i watched them make a sandwich and i slowly realized it was mine and was horrified to see them put mayo in the sandwich. it goes without saying that a hummus sandwich does not come with mayo but the togo's people don't know any better and slap it on everything so i usually tell them not to put mayo. i forgot last week. i was too horrified to even speak up. i thought it would be wasteful for them to throw out the bread and start over. i thought i could scrape it off back at the office. the togo's hummus is so dry that by the time i opened up the sandwich, there was not a trace of may to be seen. i braced myself for what might later turn out to be a bad restroom incident but nothing happened.

cut to today, exactly 1 week later. again i find myself in the lunch dilemma. my co-worker offers to pick me up a vegetarian sandwich when he goes to get his own lunch. he even calls me from the place to make sure the order is customized to be vegan. one sandwich has walnuts and cream cheese, the other doesn't have walnuts and regular cheese instead of cream cheese. i opt for the second selection, sans frommage. (i seriously don't know what's going on with all of the french today.) it doesn't hit me until he brings the sandwich that if it doesn't have cream cheese, then it probably has mayo on it. i open it up. yep, it does. and it's so intertwined with the sprouts and other veggies that there's not much hope of removing it. fuck it. i'll eat fucking mayo again and worry about using the restroom later. nothing happened again. my stomach must think that i'm slowing going vegetarian. i know my ass will rebel later.