i'm sick of being poor! just so tired of not being able to go places or do things for lack of funds. so lately i've been toying with the idea of returning to school to enter a field where $$$ is to be made. i thought about becoming a professional geek. i looked into some classes at a local community college in networking, programming, and databases, so as to get my feet wet and decided which geeky path i would like to pursue. these would be classes i would take online or after work. but as i was looking through the catalogue, i thought that it might be good to balance geekiness with artsiness. i started checking out the photography and multimedia classes. if i just took one art class, that would relax things a bit and improve my skills at the same time. however, if i took an art class, that means it would take even longer to become geeky and change career paths. or more exactly, get on a career path. more importantly, can i handle taking 2-3 classes while i work? can i even handle taking classes at all again? i need to have a personal life afterall and i have my own little goals of getting better at playing music and learning spanish.

when i considered all these facctors, suddenly it became too overwhelming. i went from a couple clicks away from signing up for classes, to not wanting to take them at all. i really just need to take a giant step back and meditate on what i really want from life, job, personal things. what makes me happy. what could make me happy. what my goal is in life and then figure out how to accomplish that. the fundamental issue is figuring out what i really want from life other than to travel and see the world. is there a job that could achieve this? a job i would be interested in and happy doing? is it a job that demands the sacrifice of personal life? of not having any spousal/child obligations? not that i have a child but my relationship is my anchor in life. i can't be careless and accidentally cut the rope to the anchor. or am i still young enough to say fuck it all and just abandon america and pursue traveling the world. i'm just not the type of person that can be satisfied with visiting somewhere for a weekend or a week. especially if traveling to another country, i need to be there for weeks or months. just when i have started to settle down again, do i get rid of everything for good and go for it? do i even have any skills that would allow me to work here and there as i travel? i fear the answer is no and that is why i'd need to become a professional geek. as i prepare myself in the ways of the geek, i could also simultaneously plan out world travels.