i have gone through many emotions today. it started with a maggot morning. at least, i believe they were maggots. i found one crawling on the floor as i was about to eat breakfast. disgusting. i scooped it up with some junk mail and threw it outside. then i saw another one. i did the same thing. then i began to look for the source. there's never just 1 or 2 maggots! but i found nothing. no signs. no other eggs or maggots nor rotten food or anything stinky. nothing at all. i have no idea where they came from.

in the afternoon i received an email from peta2 and learned that derrick from sepultura is vegetarian and has been for 23 years. i read the interview and did the math. 23 years must be a goddamn typo. perhaps 13 years. in the interview he says that he started reading books because his friends in new york worked at health food shops. that guy is like 5 years older than me so he's 35. that means when he was 12 in ohio he had friends in new york working at health food shops. i don't buy that. i believe it was more like when he was 22 in new york. that makes much more sense.

then i had a sepultura shock evening. i haven't paid attention to what they are doing. all i recall is that igor the drummer went on hiatus to be with his family for once instead of going on tour. he recently divorced and got married again and has a new baby. i guess in the past he neglected his family, didn't know how to juggle things in his life as andreas the guitarist put it i believe, and so he doesn't want to make the same mistake with his new wife and family. the derrick interview sparked me to check out their latest video with a vegetarian edge, hence the peta2 interview, and to find out what's going on in the world of sepultura. i was shocked to learn that in june igor left sepultura, has announced a new project he's doing with some dipshit in new york, and that sepultura have already filled the drummer spot with a guy from belo horizonte.

twiddle thumbs and i went through the entire spectrum of thoughts and emotions on this news. when igor went on hiatus, back in our hearts we thought of igor leaving and it hurt too much to think about so we didn't let it enter our minds. igor is the fucking definition of sepultura! we were fine with max leaving because he turned into one of those assholes who think he is the band. but igor? his drumming is amazing. his skills combined with andreas's guitar playing really is sepultura. with both brothers gone now, is it still sepultura? this was the debate. but we realized, if sepultura is not in your heart then off you go. it is obviously not in igor's heart anymore. if sepultura is in the heart of the new drummer, then it is sepultura. pump in some new blood of someone enthusiastic to be in the band and tear shit up!

[deleted 1 paragraph of speculation crap on all the shit regarding igor's departure.] speculate all i may, it changes nothing. it really is just to help digest this news of the band that first got me to like metal. that is why this is so devastating. i never liked metal before, i was such an alternachick. then i became best friends with the polar opposite of me and we exchanged a lot of knowledge, especially in music. from sepultura, i was able to appreciate other bands in the metal genre and eventually classical music as well. you see, i have always believed in the deep connection between classical music and metal. both of them were friction to my ears and sensibilities but not anymore. i have never ever imagined sepultura without igor or without andreas. this is a hard blow. in tribute to igor's brilliant drumming, i am listening to the sepultura albums in reverse chronological order. i hope to one day hear music from igor that blows me away.