listening to adam ant sing "all i wanted was a place in the country, but now i realize i wanted so much more", i look back to my own wants from way back when. all i wanted was to see the world and have a place of my own. that fundamental sentiment of my life's ambition hasn't changed. as i was in my last days of high school, i knew i could take my college money and go to college close by and afford a car by living at home, go far away to college and not have a car, or simply start saving towards a house to own by age 30. well, not really. not going to college was never an option for me. i never thought about not going. it was a given in life. going away was tied to going to college. the two were the same to me. hence, i took the path that i did. i still believed though that i could own my own place by 30 up until a few months ago. i don't want to pay someone else rent for the rest of my life but at the same time, i don't feel like being tied to a particular place through ownership. a core part of me still doesn't believe in the capitalist concept of property so i really couldn't give a shit about ownership right now. one thing's for sure though, you can't live life in a capitalist world with a socialist/communist soul. if one lives in a capitalist society, one must realize that $ is essential to survival--it's what pays the bills. this is what i tell myself, but i don't know if i believe it.