at the end of this year i'll be 30 and though that number was never a marker nor a concern for me, it coincidentally will be when i plan to start a whole new life. i'm not sure what that'll be yet, but it'll be new to me. you see, after i visit okinawa in october, that will be 1 major thing crossed off my list of things i want to do. after that, i need to get a job that has the potential for growth. i just can't keep earning such a small wage. the track i'm on now simply isn't going to support me for much longer, it barely has for the past few years. my jobs have always been something for the now, not something i really want or something that i thought would get me somewhere. i applied and took jobs simply for the paychecks--bills need to get paid.

i guess i better start making some sort of list of things i want to do in life but i just don't have ideas right now. sure i have my 43 things list but those are things i'd like to do in the near future and i'm talking about something more ultimate. music is my main love and i've seen live pretty much every band that means something to me. to meet those musicians and get an autograph or take my picture with them is just icing on the cake. sure there are still music/films/books to hear/watch/read but those are little things that i don't imagine weighing heavy on my conscious should i be at the end of my life and reflect upon what i wish i had done. i always wanted to bungy jump but i did that in new zealand. so what else is there? travel! there are so many places i want to go to that i've seen on tv or the net. yet again, those aren't really that compelling. i mean, at least i know about them and have seen pictures. i think what interests me more are the journeys and discoveries that take place when we're not seeking them. and you really can't make a list of what you don't plan on.