interesting day to say the least. my boss the vice president was fired today. the others above me assured me that my job is secure. that though i was hired to be her assistant, they like me, want to keep me, and will be changing my role around and changing other things too. well, i'm glad i still have a job, thanks. i just feel weird about my boss being fired. i mean, i've never experienced that before. i can only see this as an opportunity for the company to really pick up the reigns and make things tight and smooth. as i learn and grow, hopefully i can climb the ladder a bit now that my position is changing.

in other news, i feel like shit. frustrated. angry. i came home from that work stuff, starving. twiddle thumbs and nopalita were supposed to be home cooking my dinner. because my brother is in town and he's borrowing twiddle thumbs's car and keys, she couldn't get in the house. so they went to a restaurant. i had no idea until i got home and listened to my voicemail. they went to a restaurant right by my work too. good grief. my mom left me some frantic 'where the hell are you?' type voicemails because she wants me to sell kangen water machines too. *sigh* i'm supposed to go to a demonstration tonight. i so do not want to do this. i don't have time to go to the restaurant and eat or make something and eat before i run off to make this demonstration even though my mother assures me i have time and should eat something first. i don't know how traffic will be and i can't drive in the carpool lane. i'm so hungry and upset that i can't help but cry. i am 8 years old again. being forced to do things i don't want to do. i don't eat anything and start driving, crying, letting it out. i show up to meet her at her work (she never said where the demonstration will be, just go to her work). i get there and she's on the phone with tech support for the wireless internet router at her office. i wait for 30 minutes as she yells at me everytime she is on hold to go look in the company fridge for food. i don't want to even think about food. i follow her as she drives to where the demonstration will be. she never tells me where, just to follow. she makes a left-hand turn and stops short because i don't know that she is turning into a house. thank god no cars were coming or else there would have been a minor accident. i get there and it's all old japanese ladies. i try to be polite but i cannot be charming. the lady of the house does her best to get me some food (everyone else is eating chicken curry, japanese are such the feed you when you visit type). i eat a bowl of rice and some salad. i'm not crying but now i feel like i'm 6 years old again. or 4 years old whose tears are drying as they eat their rice.

the demonstration lasts a little too long for me. i leave after about 1.5-2 hours, earlier than others. i learned that the kangen water machine is pretty good and was actually invented in okinawa. hurray for our people, whoopty-doo. i don't mind so much the idea of selling kangen water. it's just that it's completely word of mouth. i can perhaps convince people but i know no one with the money for it. i just want to leave my life completely and start anew. that is why i left santa cruz. i just don't think i like this new life. 2006 will be a different life.