we're not exactly loving it here. i don't even know if we're having fun anymore. maybe we're just really homesick. do we leave early? this is something we've been struggling with for awhile. twiddle thumbs has wanted to go home since the first week. that is a bit dramatic but not a lie. it simply stresses how we feel and the constant depression, stress, debates that we go through.

it's come down to critical time now. serious considerations about leaving early instead of after our friend visits in september. this of course fucks up plans with our friend visiting so it affects another person and so we have guilt. if only it affected just us, we probably would have left by now. but it doesn't. so we're not sure what to do. we tried to call our friend in america today but it was late at night. we'll just have to keep trying. ah! i don't know what to do.

i haven't earned back my money that i spent here. hell, i haven't even been back to work for 1 full week! i wanted to earn enough money to show our friend around new zealand. if at all possible, scrimp and save to have enough to hop over to australia as well. i came all this way that it would be a shame not to visit neighboring australia or fiji.

i really miss vegan food in america. my skin is suffering here due to poor nutrition. wages are crap compared to the cost of living. it's not even the extra activities, it's the basics of life. food is just too expensive. my only indulgences, my only pleasures, are music and movies and those things cost a lot here. america is notoriously cheap for music and movies. so many brits load up on those things while they visit. nz is pretty much the same.

commonwealth countries. argh. don't feel like i want to be in a country with queen elizabeth on all the money any more. can't stand sausage rolls, vegemite, tea with milk, coffee, curry, pubs, and all the funny words anymore. a few people speaking with a british accent is charming, but tons of them is annoying. at least i'm not on the bus with them anymore. i don't dislike new zealand or the people per say your honor, it's just that i do not have access to things that constitute the basics of my life: good mexican food. i realize i cannot live without good mexican food.

alright, there are some things about the people i don't like but i don't hate new zealanders. i just think that they are quite rude for such a low population. when you walk the streets, get on an elevator, get off a bus, etc. they are just rude. they don't consider other people at all in those situations. they won't move aside or let you get out. they run you over like they run over pedestrians when they drive. i agree with twiddle thumbs's observation: the women are bitches.

there's some fun things coming up in america that we're gonna miss out on so we're bummed about that. however, i really don't want to go to a state run by a former body builder and a country run by a monkey (no offence to monkeys) but all i can think about are things that i want to do when i get back home to LA. whether it's eating certain foods, shopping for cds, trying to get a job in the entertainment industry, taking community college courses, or going on road trips. i just feel like my life is on hold and i need to get going with moving it forward again.

doh!