with the huge burden of earning a BA degree lifted, i am free to smile and be happy. i find it much easier now--in fact, i feel like i'm smiling all the time. with the weight loss and the end of school, i am free to be happy and be girly and all that. part of being out of school means that i am free to pursue my own interests and sample life for awhile, which really makes me smile. this difference in attitude is sharp and i don't know how others will react to the change. i'm sure they've already noticed. am i now a happy goth? am i one of those idiots i would see at the clubs, thinking they should be kicked out because they are too happy to be goth? so be it. i was never that goth anyway; i just liked the aesthetic and boys in makeup. ;)