JOKES -- CLIP DESCRIPTION -- JOKES
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impersonation of mother leaving an answering machine message #1
("Grandma and Grandpa are gonna die...") | RealAudio streaming |
impersonation of mother leaving an answering machine message #2
("I know you're gay...") | RealAudio streaming |
| impersonation of mother telling a joke about President Clinton | 636K |
| "I know what racism is because I watch college cheerleading..." | 617K |
| Margaret talks of when she practiced yoga | 481K |
| talking of her love of makeup | 476K |
| Margaret's mother likes Margaret's dog because it reminds her of "Happy", a dog they used to have | 386K |
| impersonation of mother talking of their pet dog named "Happy" from years ago | 475K |
| (as her mother) "oh you cannot go to the club because they take the drug" | 151K |
| on going to gaybars with friends | 463K |
| "I would always get the most dressed up and the most messed up" | 185K |
| impersonating a friend trying to revive Margaret passed out on the club floor | 336K |
| on the history of the gay community | 452K |
| (as her mother) "Mommy likes to laugh on the inside..." | 419K |
| "Karl Lagerfeld is the designer with the white fan and the sunglasses and always with the Spanish fan.." | 238K |
| What if Karl Lagerfeld was a murder? | 364K |
| imagine Karl Lagerfeld in jail | 361K |
| "I don't want to be the only Asian person around a bunch of white people" | 360K |
| "It's a billion times worse to be the only white person around a bunch of Asian people" | 261K |
| "I love gay porn because the guys are fucking hot" | 349K |
| "The reason I love porn is: I love dicks" | 274K |
| (to Margaret) "Could you be a little more Chinese?" | 343K |
| "Straight men don't want to have any inkling of a chance that they might get turned on by the guy and accidentally have a homo moment" | 328K |
| "Straight men are so simple--all they need are beer and boobs and buffalo wings" | 306K |
| "I love to watch the women [in straight porn]" | 96K |
| (as her father) "When I first come to this country.." | 265K |
| "Racism affects me in really stupid ways" | 258K |
| (as her brother) "Margaret, have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?" | 245K |
| "I think Hooters is a great institution because there would never be a female equivalent" | 236K |
| (as her mother) "I know you're gay!" | 229K |
| (as her mother) "All the gay books are ass this and ass that" | 172K |
| (as her mother) "Asses all the time, that's no good!" | 220K |
| "People talk to you a lot more if you have a dog" | 212K |
| "I love the Spice Girls soooooo much" | 210K |
| "I have a Korean name.." | 180K |
| "When I get famous enough I want to have my own fragrance" | 159K |
| Malaria is a good way to loose weight quickly | 167K |
| "This morning show guy didn't understand me at all" | 165K |
| "I was raised in San Francisco, I went to Lowell High School" | 160K |
| "Straight men don't want to go shopping, ever" | 149K |
| "You just have to face that you don't have a boyfriend, you have a girlfriend" | .4K |
| "After having gay boyfriends for many years finally I have a straight boyfriend" | 146K |
| "I think my dog is jealous of my boyfriend" | 142K |
| "Hey Gwen, you really rocked me!" | 146K |
| (as her mother) "when I was pregnant with you.." | 129K |
| "I am like the worst role model in the world" | 121K |
| "I panic in advance" | 119K |
| (as her mother) "you think that I don't know about the gay but I know about the gay" | 118K |
| "It's really stupid to call a 50-year old Korean man 'a fucking cock'" | 114K |
| "Bitch, you wanna throw down? let's go outside; we could go outside--I am so through with you" | 109K |
| "When I was a little girl and we grew up on the rice patty.." | 108K |
| husbands are like tattoos | 107K |
| Margaret's pick up line | 98K |
| (as her mother) "this book we just got is called Assmaster" | 97K |
| why Margaret likes to keep up on porno | 96K |
| what Margaret thinks of the women of new porno | 93K |
| "When I was a little girl, I always wished that I would be constantly surrounded by gorgeous guys" | 93K |
| "I don't care how whipped you have them, men don't want to go shopping" | 89K |
| a fake quote printed in a tabloid | 87K |
| why Margaret stopped taking drugs | 86K |
| why the relationship between Margaret and her brother is strained | 86K |
| what Margaret really sees when she looks at her brother | 78K |
| why Margaret was expelled from high school after two years | 82K |
| "I know when I'm older I'm gonna work a lot" | 82K |
| what the San Francisco experience is in Margaret's opinion | 58K |
| "Some people think it's the cable cars, or the sourdough bread.." | 77K |
| what a fan in prison once wrote to Margaret | 71K |
| Margaret's a huge fan of... | 68K |
| the restaurant Hooters is amazing! | 68K |
| "I am not mad!...If I was mad, you would be dead | 67K |
| "Faghags are the backbone of the gay community" | 67K |
| "My brother is such an asshole" | 66K |
| "Bitch! I got x-ray vision. I know you got a dollar and nice titties." | 65K |
| "I am the biggest faghag, ever" | 60K |
| when Margaret isn't around Asians, she has to "find her people" | 60K |
| (as her mother) "Oh you so beautiful, she's so beautiful..what a dyke!" | 59K |
| "As you know by now, I am Korean..." | 53K |
| Margaret talks on her fear of flying | 52K |
| "Hello, my name is Gwen..." | 51K |
| "I have the biggest pubic mound in the whole world" | 50K |
| "She's all like 'namase'; and I'm all like 'pull my finger'" | 46K |
| "Some people are raised by wolves, I was raised by drag queens" | 44K |
| "The smell that takes me back is balls in pantyhose" | 33K |
| "I inherited my father's eyes and my mother's eating disorder" | 43K |
| "I'm not a lesbian, which is a shame because I'm so good at..." | 42K |
| "In 20 years in every movie, I'm going to be the judge, so look out" | 42K |
| "My television show got cancelled and I was so bummed" | 36K |
| "Oh, All American Girl got cancelled..." | 41K |
| "My mother has perfected the art of driving me fucking crazy" | 41K |
| "See, I love to say the word 'faggot' because I am a 'faghag' | 41K |
| "Now that the milk is free we've both become lactose intolerant" | 40K |
| "I know that I'm not a fat person, I just have fat parts" | 37K |
| "I could never sell douche because I do not look fresh at all | 35K |
| (a reviewer once said) "Funny, sexy, zaftig Margaret Cho" | 31K |
| "Should I get up and pee or just pee in the bed?" | 31K |
| (as a lovely older black lady) "But baby, you too fat to fly" | 29K |
| (as a scary make-up artist) "What's my name?" | 27K |
| "What the fuck is wrong with you? You fucking cock!!!" | 25K |
| "Drink vitasoy--is good for you!" | 24K |
| "You think you're hot shit, but you're just cold diarrhea" | 24K |
| (as her former manager) "I think the Asian thing puts people off" | 24K |
| "I'm not a slut; I'm a timesaver" | 23K |
| "Nobody can call me fat on the set!!!" | 21K |
| "I hate you; your house smells like cat pee" | 20K |
| (as a non-English speaker) "Oh no, I dunno" | 19K |
| (as her mother) "You know Koreans don't do that" | 18K |
| (as her mother) "Is he the gay?!" | 18K |
| "Origami piece of shit" | 18K |
| "I just felt like such an asshole" | 17K |
| "That's so cool!" | 15K |
| "Taichi master" | 13K |
| "I'm sure you can relate" | 13K |
| "I'm fucked up" | 13K |
| "Drunk with power" | 12K |
